In November, I posted one of the short essays I wrote last February in application to a program at the University of Austin. Now I post my other short essay. I did not save the exact wording of the question, but the question was a variant of the famous question posed by Peter Thiel at the start (p.5) of his book, Zero to One:
What important truth do very few people agree with you on?
University of Austin’s variant of the question asked for a widespread conclusion I wholeheartedly agree with, and for a truth very few people agree with me on. I was allowed a total of 500 words for both answers.
I chose to write on a topic I have written thousands of words on. (See Chapter 6 of my book, Masculine Power, Feminine Beauty: The Volitional, Objective Basis for Heterosexuality in Romantic Love and Marriage.) My essay, distilling my argument to fewer than 500 words, was as follows.
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There are numerous widespread conclusions I wholeheartedly agree with, but for reasons very few people agree with. Therefore, I can answer both of your questions in a single essay.
Marriage is a legally sanctioned, publicly declared, exclusive and—by intention—permanent romantic relationship between a man and a woman.
Many, although not most, individuals agree with the above statement. But almost all such individuals are religious. I am the only atheist I know of who has made this statement publicly in the past decade.
Like the concepts “mother,” “father,” “husband,” and “wife,” the concept “marriage” is steeped in sex-specific meaning and values that would be lost if the concept were neutered. Even among advocates for homosexuality, the overwhelmingly predominant view is to insist on separate words for male homosexual (“gay”) and female homosexual (‘lesbian’); hence the “L” and “G” in “LGBT.” For certain important concepts, sex matters.
Here are some of my sex-specific values pertinent to the concept of marriage. The man knows that he is the physically more powerful partner, that it is his particular responsibility—and joy—to provide physical safety for his wife, to take the lead in actions dealing with survival, to take the lead romantically, and to be in charge sexually. Integrated with these differences are differences in physical appearance, and the man celebrates the woman’s sex-specific, feminine beauty. For his romantic partner, the man seeks someone who is organized physically to receive his power and thrive on it, within the safe and fruitful environment he has created for her and their children, and who will judge his efficacy in creating such an environment for them. He seeks a mind equal in stature to his own, who expects him to lead, not merely so that she may follow, but so that she may judge his lead, and so that she may offer her beauty to him alone as the expression of her judgment.
Individuals may reasonably disagree regarding specifics of the sex-related differences between the man and the woman in a rational marriage. Nevertheless, there are such differences, and it is rational for an individual’s sexual values to be highly sex-specific. To a rational human being, the sex and sexual orientation of one’s spouse is important, to say the least. The concept of marriage must continue to capture that importance, identifying sex and sexual orientation with emphasis and definite clarity.
A married man, or a man who desires marriage, needs to know that being married means being a man to a woman, not merely being a partner to a partner. The concept of “marriage” helps him to hold that knowledge in condensed form. This knowledge serves both as a guide to action and a means of contemplating his romantic success.
Sex matters.
Correction, 2/11/2024: In reviews of my book, Edward Cline and Charlotte Cushman also supported marriage as only between a man and a woman.