What Romney Could Say To Win My Vote

“I am the lesser of two evils.”

And if Romney said the following, I would even campaign for him.

I know I’m not a real Republican. Well, I am a real Republican; what I mean is that I am not a real defender of freedom. I don’t have any political ideas; I just try to be efficient with the ideas that are already out there, like when I created RomneyCare for the idea of socialized medicine, and I try to get ahead personally. I know that’s not enough to save the country, but I think I can make us get worse more slowly, until a better President comes along, because at least I feel America is a good country, though I cannot explain why. I think the country has a chance of surviving with me as President if people on the political Right remember this: Don’t think of me as your leader; think of me as the opposition who at least won’t break the law in opposing you. Don’t go along with things I say or do just because my party affiliation is ‘Republican’. In fact, think of me as a Democrat, but one who will give in like a Republican if you stand your ground. And keep looking for someone better to replace me in four years. And, most of all, don’t let up on your personal preparations in case of a total collapse of civil institutions, because it may be too late to prevent that, unless we had a President who really knew what to do.

In short, I don’t deserve to be an alderman, let alone President. But at least I deserve to be an American. In fact, I’m proud to be a rich, productive American who pays the least amount of tax I can and protects my wealth as best I can, though I’m ashamed to admit it.

As for my running mate–who supported TARP, the bailout of General Motors, and spending ‘cuts’ that are really decreases of increases–how good can he be if he praises me?

Of course, Romney won’t say this. But I’m trying to make a serious point. If a significant number of prominent Romney supporters would say something like the passage above to explain their support for Romney, then I would support Romney. Otherwise, I think I won’t, for the reasons implied in the passage above. A Romney victory would dissipate the opposition to socialism/fascism, bring onto capitalism the blame for the failures of socialism/fascism, and dampen the proper sense of urgency that capitalists now have in preparing for a collapse.

5 thoughts on “What Romney Could Say To Win My Vote

  1. Interesting take, Mr. Pisaturo. But this well-crafted, honest, and intelligent statement would need a PS, before I would join you in your “support” of Romney. And it would go:

    “Oh, and by the way, I know that at least half of you might be concerned about the fact that my running mate has, shall we say … —designs—on your bodies. I know that’s really not the government’s business, but I think I have to sort of go along with it, in order to get into office. By my sort of going along with it, I know it puts your future happiness and welfare at some risk, and I’m sort of sorry about that; just be sure to remember that inconvenient fact in your ‘personal preparations.’ You might, for example, stock up on contraceptives, and find a doctor who’d be willing to declare any unwanted pregnancy you might experience, as being the result of a legitimate, forcible rape; incest might work, too. That might leave you free to terminate a pregnancy….. Then again, it might not; I don’t know, exactly, how serious my party is about assuming control over the organs inside of your bodies. So just Be Prepared—as the Boy Scouts say.”

    Like that.

    But then … let me reconsider here ….

    NO: I STILL would not join you in your “support.”

  2. Ron,

    To ask a politician to admit publicly (and presumably to himself) that he’s “not as evil as that other guy but evil nevertheless” would require of him either suicide or insanity, would it not?


    Ryan Jamieson

  3. Ryan Jamieson: I think suicide would be okay; fine, in fact. And there’s no need for Romney to admit to insanity: most of us already know it to be the case. He suffers from the political strain of it: Opportunistic Powerlust, it’s called. (Palin had it, too–though quite a more virulent strain.)


  4. Based on the squalor that is the DNC, I retract my indifference to Romney’s “suicide”. (But I still think he’s insane, with powerlust.)

    And, by my lights, Romney no longer needs to issue a statement similiar to that crafted by Mr. Pisaturo (and appended with my suggested “PS”). It would be nice, but it’s no longer required; he now has my “support”, regardless (which I can’t even characterize as “reluctant”).

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